So anyway i have a friend who works for the California Film Commission and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me what he had his hands on. Chris Carter, Frank Spotnitz, Gillian Anderson, David Duchovny, Mitch Pileggi and *ahem* Brian “Alien Bounty Hunter” Thomson are all signed on as well as Deep Throat’s real-life daughter Melora Hardin and newcomer Noah Alexander who apparently plays an eleven year-old William. Release is believed to be November 2, 2012.
FADE IN:
A MED-EVAC CHOPPER
Coming across skyscrapers in the early evening,
past the camera and onto the helipad of a hospital
to the right. The camera zooms in on it and then
seamlessly switches to another camera on the same
roof. A team of emergency doctors, surgical masks already
covering their faces, are waiting for the patient inside.
The side door bursts open and two paramedics start
to unload the gurney as the doctors rush the
helicopter.
MED-EVAC CAPTAIN
45 year-old male, cardiac arrest, blood pressure
falling, he's breathing but we can't get an
accurate O-Sat reading...
As one doctor tries to attach an oxygen saturation sensor
to the patient's finger he suddenly goes flying a full
20 feet through the air and makes a hard landing on
the rooftop. The patient's other hand grabs another
doctor by the throat. The camera gets closer and
reveals a familiar face...
BOUNTY HUNTER
Where... is he...
The Bounty Hunter starts to sit up on the gurney as
he squeezes the doctor's throat.
FEMALE DOCTOR
I... you... you took him
Security guards emerge from their post near the
emergency elevator, guns drawn.
BOUNTY HUNTER
NO! The BOY! WHERE! IS! HE!?
The guards yell out to let the doctor go, then
put 5 bullets right in the Bounty Hunter's chest.
Scully begins to run toward the elevator, then takes
the stairs instead. She begins the 6 floor descent
to the basement parking garage.
The security personnel close in on the bounty hunter,
then realize they've gotten too close as their eyes
start burning. They scream in agony as the Bounty
Hunter pulls the restraints off his waist and legs,
5 green stains bubbling on his chest.
Scully opens the driver's door to her red sedan, starts
it, backs out of her space, then peels out.
The Bounty Hunter walks to the edge of the building.
Scully starts looking behind her, and suddenly looks forward
as she's about to run a red light. She start to slam on the
brakes, only to have the Bounty Hunter drop right in front of her.
She veers left yet runs over part of him, runs the red light
while looking in the rear view to make sure he was down.
EXT WHITE SEDAN
The camera starts above and then pans to the rear right side
of the white sedan as it travels in the late afternoon sun
and passes a sign for Interstate 80 West. A phone is heard
ringing.
INT WHITE SEDAN
A hand reaches out and touches a button on the car's
dashboard. The camera reveals Fox Mulder behind the
wheel.
MULDER
I thought we weren't going to use this line.
SCULLY
Mulder, he found me.
MULDER
We knew that was going to happen, it was
just sooner than we thought.
SCULLY
Have you found him? Are you there?
MULDER
I'm driving through Wyoming as we speak. I'm
about 1/2 hour away from him.
SCULLY
How can you be sure that it's really him?
MULDER
How can it not be? We should just hope that
Doggett didn't alert anyone else when he
contacted us. It's all falling into place,
Scully, and here we are about 8 months from
the date.
SCULLY
That's true, today's April 1st.
MULDER
That's right, what some call "April Fool's
Day!"
SCULLY
Do you think anybody still believes this is
real?
MULDER
I want to believe.
Would be extra funny except a med evac “captain” does not exist and a cardiac arrest patient is by definition dead. So no BP would fall and he certainly would not be breathing LOL. But other than that, a great 4/1 joke!
Comment by Johnny Law — April 1, 2010 @ 1:37 pm
i threw this together in about 15 minutes. The MedEvac “captain” was referenced in Fight the Future script at the beginning when the helicopter came when the kid was down in the cave. Otherwise i didn’t have the time to fact check, and there is such a rabid call for a third film that i assumed there wouldn’t be much scrutiny.
Comment by xfilesdb — April 22, 2010 @ 10:46 am
You had me! I am now crushingly dissapointed; if not a smidgen amused! =) Whoever’s behind this excellent hoax should get a call sometime after 1am by Chris and Frank, hopefully with streetlights slipping through the shutters of the window at the time… Chris and Frank should be offering the hoaxer a job because they’ve got the tone and mood down to a T!
Comment by Dan B — April 18, 2010 @ 9:51 am
It was my hoax alone. Thanks, i’m glad you liked it.
Comment by xfilesdb — April 22, 2010 @ 10:47 am